Who do you spend your time with? In this episode, 96. Why It Matters Who You Surround Yourself With, I encourage you to evaluate who and what you are surrounding yourself with. My hope is that you can see, after listening, just how big of a role this plays into who we are and how successful we become in life and in our businesses.
Why It Matters Who You Surround Yourself With
In this episode, I cover the following:
- Who we surround ourselves with really makes all the difference. Who are the 5 people you are around most? What are they like? You are the sum of the five you are around the most.
- What do you want the future of your business to be? I talk about the importance of surrounding yourself with people who can get you to where you want to be and that can see your potential. Being around people who are a couple of steps ahead of you is huge to help you get into the mind-frame of what’s possible. They can help you know how to get there.
- How having an outside set of eyes looking at your business can make a huge difference in your business. We are so blind to our own business and are sometimes too up-close because it is our baby. Taking advice, from the right qualified individuals, will lead you to where you want to be.
- We are always marketing. When it comes to sharing about yourself, make sure you do it right and are not all about you. For example: If you are sharing on your website in the About Me section, makes sure it’s a brief origin story followed by how that affects them. Relate to your customer and show them how you can solve a problem.
- Finding your people and how they can support you emotionally, see the best in you, be sincere and help you improve. How do people around you handle frustration? Find people who will not dwell on the negative, and who will help you turn things around.
- Who we surround ourselves with greatly impacts who we are and how we view the world. IF you don’t like who you are around, you can change that! Make a list of things that are important to you. How you want to show up. What attributes to you like in others and want to see in yourself? You are the sum of the people you hang around. Surround yourself with those kind of people that will encourage you to be your best and find success.
Show Notes
In this episode, I share about a successful business owner, Darren Hardy who wrote The Compound Effect. Click HERE to view the Reel that I speak about regarding becoming we we associate with.
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Transcription
[Music]
welcome to the craft to Career podcast
with Elizabeth Chappell or every week we
dive into how you can turn your craft
into a successful career get ready to
have the career you’ve always dreamed of
[Music]
hello welcome to episode 96 of the craft
a career podcast I am Elizabeth Chapel
of Quilter’s candy and I am the host of
the show and today I’m talking about
something that’s been on my radar
recently and has really come to the
Forefront that I’ve seen in my life and
the lives of those around me and I
cannot wait to tell you more and to
share something that can really change
your life both your business and your
personal life this topic is who we
surround ourselves with
have you ever stepped back to look at
who you spend time with like a lot of
time it could be your friends family it
could even be you know the podcast that
you listen to the books that you’re
reading
that counts too
but doing an evaluation of who we are
surrounding ourselves with and just how
big of a role this plays and Who We Are
it’s actually crazy like it makes me
want to just go and find
I don’t know the most amazing people in
the world and be like can we just hang
out every day because I this is super
powerful
so let’s dive in and first I’m gonna
share what Darren Hardy said so Darren
Hardy’s the author of The Compound
Effect
and I follow him on Instagram he’s a
very successful business owner and he
shares a lot of great information so
there’s a reel that he had and I’ll
leave a link to this in the show notes
so if you want to see the actual reel
from Darren Hardy’s own mouth you can go
to quilterscandy.com forward slash 96
and you can get the link to that
so Darren says
if you hang around five wise people you
will become the sixth if you hang around
five multi-millionaires you will become
the sixth
if you hang around five idiots you will
become the sixth he says we evolve to
become the things that we see hear and
do on a consistent basis do you want to
see your future he asks look at your
friends
so wow like do you want your future to
be
like what your friends have what their
lives are their attitudes their
everything is that what you want for
your future
if you can say yes then perfect that’s
great
stay where you are
if not
and that it’s so hard it’s easier said
than done right like no I’ll just get
new friends but really who we surround
ourselves with really makes a difference
like it makes all the difference it is
it’s our future
and I have seen this this year so as you
know if you’ve listened to uh the past
couple episodes ago I had Stacy tushel
on and I am in her Mastermind this year
and we’re gonna just talk in regards to
business right now but as far as my
business goes I have consistently taken
a class had a mentor joined a mastermind
put myself in a surrounding with people
who are a couple steps ahead of me
because that’s the future I wanted for
my business I wanted to reach this
potential and the first time this
happened
I took a course and I realized holy cow
this person is making that much money
and it just opened my mind to this
business idea that wow there’s actually
a lot more out there I had set the bar
really low and I was okay with that and
it that’s okay if you’re like no I’m
okay with earning x amount per year I
don’t have Ambitions for more than that
that’s totally fine but for me I was
like wait a minute there’s more that I
could be earning
in fact there is no cap you know the
first time I vocalized out loud I want
to earn a million dollars a year with my
business
I didn’t dare he let anyone else hear it
like even just vocalizing it even just
thinking it I was like who am I how dare
I how could I but then to own that
and now it’s it it will happen and and
then what you know then there’s more
after that after that
um and so being surrounded by people who
are getting that kind of success where
that’s very normal it’s not like no
that’s crazy you can’t do that it’s like
oh yeah no you can and here here’s how
it changes everything just to open your
mind to the idea to accepting and
believing that that’s a reality
and not just someone else’s but that is
mine that will be my future
um it’s very very beyond powerful like
it changes your entire the way you look
at things
and even before I joined my Mastermind I
hopped on a one-on-one coaching call
and just to chat with this coach to tell
them uh here’s where I’m at here’s where
I want to get and have them throw out
some ideas what if you tried this what
if you did this
it I was like oh wow okay and then for
them to say just do it and so I did I
opened up these things and did that and
that and it worked and it pushed me to
where I would not have done that had
someone not been there to a suggest it
and then B pushed me and encourage me to
do that thing
so being around the people who are
having the kind of success that you want
to have or even who are a couple steps
ahead of you
is huge really even just to to get you
in the mind frame of what’s possible
that you really can have more and then
the tangible but how how do I get there
sure you can like you know manifest and
believe all you want but you need to
know some tangible things of like but
how does one do that and so to have
someone who can guide you and help you
with that
also I have noticed the importance of I
how do I say this
an outside set of eyes looking at my
business so I’ve shared this story
before and I don’t even remember now if
it was on the podcast or where so if
you’ve heard this just uh stick with me
but I you know I coach people and I
teach people on how to run a successful
business and one of the things that I
really encourage people to do
is to not focus on yourself when you are
marketing so and when your Market you’re
marketing all the time so let’s say that
you have an about me page on your
website which I hope you do
in the about me page it should be in
first person and you should tell a
little bit of your origin story how you
got to have this business however here’s
the fine line
when you are marketing when you’re
talking to your customers
you only want to share that in regards
to how it affects them
a lot of business owners get into this
trap if you will this idea of
oh let me share my story and it goes on
and on and on and honestly we as human
beings were very selfish beings we
really don’t want to hear about a
business owner’s origin story unless it
somehow has some sort of implication in
my life that affects me for the better
so on your about me page you can say for
me for example I could say something
like when I first started quilting it
was a little bit lonely I realized I
wanted companionship but I I was in my
quilting room alone at night sewing so I
realized I could start a membership and
I’d worded it differently than this I
wanted to have a community of friends to
join in projects with and to share what
we’re doing together
that’s why I created the Quilters candy
membership come and join me in the
membership be my friend let’s hang out
together so all of a sudden yes I’m
sharing my origin story of why I started
this thing but ever so briefly one or
two sentences and I’m framing it in a
way that’s like
but I did this because of this common
problem that you can relate to as well
and I’ve solved that problem for you so
here’s the product and this is the
problem that I’m solving so really that
that’s so keep that in mind when I’m
sharing this story
so I hired a copywriter I had a welcome
sequence email and I I went through this
whole formula that they share of share
this in the first email this and the
second this is the third and then the
fourth this is when you sell your thing
and I could see the open and the click
rates it was going very very well until
that fourth email when I was selling
something and I know enough to know that
that shouldn’t be happening if you’re
doing it right if you’re formulating
your email and wording it in the right
way it should be selling but no it was
the unsubscribe rate went up high people
weren’t buying
no that’s not how it’s that’s not how
it’s supposed to be so I hired a
copywriter and I had her come in and
take a look at my email sequence and in
that email where I was selling
it was about my origin story
and she was like oh okay well here’s
your problem it’s all about you it
doesn’t have anything to do with your
customer
do you know how
stupid I felt I was like what the this
is what I teach people on but unless
you’re lest you listen and you’re like
oh great Elizabeth doesn’t know what
she’s talking about the moral of this
story is we are so blind to our own
business we’re so up close to it that we
can’t see the details so this as much as
I can look at someone else’s business
and it’s very clear to me oh we need to
fix this right here when it comes to my
own business I need another set of eyes
someone who’s not so up close I need
them to be able to look at it and and
point out things that I’m blind to and
this is not I’m not alone every Mentor
that I have has a mentor they they hire
someone they have a friend that they
reach out to before a launch hey can you
look over this copy how is this because
no matter how good of a business owner
you are
we are just we’re too in the details
we’re too up close it’s too personal we
cannot see I mean to a degree but there
are things that we just are blind to
because it’s our baby it’s our own thing
and so this is another reason why it
matters who we surround ourselves with
and a note of caution here
everyone loves to give advice I see this
with group coaching calls someone will
share I have this new idea and all of a
sudden people start pitching and oh you
should do this you should do this they
weren’t even looking for suggestions but
everyone loves to give their suggestions
so that’s even without asking people are
giving advice if you go to somebody and
say hey can you give me your feedback on
this they’ll give you their feedback
but be selective whose feedback you are
asking for and whose feedback you take
because I’ve definitely heard some
people dish out some bad business advice
I’m like oh oh don’t do that or even
someone who is in a position where
they actually did a lot of really great
things but one of the things they said
it just happened yesterday I was on a
group coaching call not with Stacy’s
mess around but a different program that
I’m in because I’m in all the things
um
but one of the coaches gave some advice
about a niche being too narrow and I was
like oh no no no no no it was actually
someone who um is teaching music lessons
to autistic kids and he was like I think
that’s too Niche and I it was not my
place to be like you’re wrong but but in
my mind and here on my podcast
um
I just couldn’t disagree more so be so
careful Whose advice you take and if
something doesn’t resonate with you seek
a second opinion from someone who you
trust someone who’s A good rule of thumb
as someone who is a few steps ahead of
you who actually has the success that
you want to have because they’ve walked
the walk they have done the things that
you need to do in order to have that
kind of success so they will have
experience under their belt if it’s you
know the blind leading the blind if it’s
someone who has not gotten there and
there it’s just ideas or oh I read a
book that tells me this or I heard
someone say don’t don’t do that
follow someone who actually is there is
in a place where you want to be because
like I said people love to give advice
but you want to take advice from
qualified individuals
so that’s what you know with our
business it’s so crucial to surround
yourself with with people who are going
to lift you up and cheer you on and
support you and guide you and help you
see what’s possible for you
and also emotionally
so not only am I a part of Mastermind a
mastermind I host my own Mastermind
which has been such a fun thing to do
like I knew that this group of people
would be my people this year and it’s
only February and I we are we’re these
are like my friends and
in the last couple of weeks each one of
us has gone through a pretty hard time
um either with business or emotionally
you know which affects our business
and what has been really interesting for
me to see is that each one of us feels
like what we’re going through is very
unique
and that our struggles it can feel very
isolating when you’re going through a
hard time it is hard right it’s just and
if you don’t have a support system
it’s even harder but for us to come
together and to realize
Wow first of all I’m not the only person
having a hard time this is not unique to
me this is a very normal process of
being an entrepreneur not that that’s
like encouraging by saying it’s going to
be hard to be an entrepreneur but when
you’re in it
you don’t want to do that alone you know
like it is there are going to be ups and
downs the roller coaster of the
entrepreneur that’s a real thing you’ll
feel on cloud nine one minute and down
in the dumps the next and it’s sometimes
like I don’t know that I can handle this
anymore but to have a group that you can
go to and share this is what’s happening
this is how I’m feeling and to have them
truly be in your corner
I actually feel myself getting a little
emotional right now but um to have them
truly be in your corner and to have
people who sincerely want the best for
you and see the best in you and have
your have your back
it I mean you can hear in my voice it
means the world
it just means the world I mean we all
will have
you know an unhappy customer stresses of
of finances or growth or
people who don’t love your business
model but to have people in your corner
who can who you respect who you truly
love and they love you back it’s it is
invaluable it really is invaluable and
I’ve seen that not just for myself but
for the others that I’ve been around
um wow all right we’ll pull it together
so yes the bonding and the support that
we get from being with people who who
who we want you know that whole thing
that Darren Hardy said like you can see
your future if you look at your friends
is that the kind of future you want
um I also invite you to really
look at how the people you’re around
how they handle
frustrations and let me see if I can
dive into this a little bit more
you want to be in a good headspace okay
this is I’m speaking now I’m saying you
you know you listener you get to decide
what’s important to you
for me things that are important to me
are being positive
looking at the best in others not
talking negatively about others having
Integrity being a hard worker
uh let’s see those are pretty big so
yeah being able to to turn things and
not be negative about it to not you know
I just I don’t want to dwell on the
negative I really want to move forward
and be happy
and so for me I’m not going to say that
that’s right or wrong but if that’s
what’s important to you then you want to
make sure you’re around people who who
do those things it’s so easy I remember
my sister-in-law years ago she was
really upset about something and she was
like man I need this friend of mine
around she’s so good at just like yeah
they’re terrible they’re this and she’s
like it’s hilarious and it it is you I
get it like when we’re really upset with
someone we’ll just say someone for right
now
it’s kind of fun like the basic juvenile
side of us wants someone else to be like
yeah to agree with us and tear that
person down and they’re such an idiot or
whatever
that’s not really who I want to be
that’s not how I want to show up in this
life so while it might in the most
knee-jerk reaction how I want to like oh
come on just throw them under the bus
with me you know that’s not really what
I want in life I really really when I’m
in my best self I want people who can
help me turn things around and be more
positive
so Shannon doesn’t know this but she
works for well okay she does know this
she works for me she knows that
she doesn’t know that I’m going to share
how amazing she has been for me in this
regard
um just the other day
she I was chatting with her about you
know being in a weird headspace and
and she was handled it so well
she did not encourage the Doom and Gloom
and the let’s just talk about how bad it
is but in such a loving kind way just
like
encouraging listening listening but not
diving into the details and tell me more
tell me more and and I don’t even
remember how but just encouraging me to
be a little bit better and move forward
and I even
texted her or whatever a message that
said like I don’t have time to be down
here I have mountains to climb and she
copied that and she was like that is
beautiful
and now I I want to save that and put it
on my door or whatever tattoo it on my
arm like I have mountains to climb
that’s the kind of person I want to be
around that helps me remember I have
great dreams and visions and goals I’m
going places I don’t have time to sit
here and spend my energy on this stuff
that is bringing me down you know
and so if you can find those people who
are in a a mentally healthy happy place
then that will help you to to not dwell
in those negative places you know to
really Elevate yourself when it’s not so
easy to do
so now if you’re like well yeah I really
do I need to to reevaluate who I’m with
and and who I’m going to hang out with
I mean just
a precautionary tale or warning it’s it
does hurt a little bit I have gone
through a few times in my life changing
my friend groups evaluating wow this is
not making me happy these people are and
I didn’t at that time I didn’t have the
self-awareness to be like this is not
who I want to be but I was like uh I
don’t feel happy this makes me feel
whenever I leave
from being with these people I feel a
certain way and I don’t like that
so just be warned that it’s
it is always worth it to to change and
elevate your life whatever that might
look like but if you are specifically
changing the people who you hang out
with
it can be a little bit of a bumpy road
and there’s no need to tell people oh
you’re not who I want to be like or you
know anything like that but it does
become obvious when you change your
group a little bit
um but it is for the best and in the
long run you will be happier for making
that change and you know finding people
then the next thing for me was like I’m
lonely for a little bit I didn’t have a
friend group because I chose to not hang
out with these people who had been my
friends so now what and they’re it’s
like dating a little bit you know you’re
looking for some new friends and trying
things out you will find your people and
the biggest thing is to be proactive go
ahead and invite somebody to do
something if there’s someone who you’re
like man I really admire them they just
they’re really great go ahead and just
say hey would you want to grab lunch
sometime you know put yourself out there
and and reach out to people and for me
this makes me sound so weird if my
myself 10 years ago I heard myself
saying this I’d be like oh boy but a lot
of my
close friends and associations are
through my business Quilters candy you
know whether it’s online or the
employees on my team or the people in my
Mastermind or you know just the people
who I’ve met through my business are a
big
my closest relations mine is my family
um so putting yourself out there whether
it be online or through your business
making connections with your customers
it can be very very fulfilling
so yeah to summarize who we surround
ourselves greatly impact who we are how
we show up how we view the world
it is validating sometimes to see just
how real this is so I have seen with my
community for example the people who uh
you know take my course sign up for my
membership
join my Mastermind that I it is true
like attracts like and so the people who
I’ve attracted into my my sphere my
atmosphere if you will are people who I
generally really like you know I’m like
oh they have I really like how they
handle this oh they’re very positive oh
we you know
so like attracts like and
you want to surround yourself with the
people you want to be with but you’re
also going to attract the kind of people
that you are and so if you evaluate who
who am I attracting and who am I around
you can change that if you’re not loving
what you’re seeing
there is so much power in who we are
around and like I said it can even be a
podcast that you listen to books that
you listen to I want to say the first
time I heard this idea was on a podcast
oh something I cannot remember his name
something about millionaires uh being a
millionaire and he has a book John oh
anyhow I feel really bad I can’t
remember but he said you are the sum of
the five people you hang out with most
and I’m paraphrasing but to really
evaluate look at who are the five people
that you are around most what are their
views on life how do they talk about
people when they aren’t around how are
they generally happy are they generally
pessimistic do they look at things as a
glass half full are they showing up in a
way that you like that you want to show
up
because that’s how you are as well we
are the sum of the five people we hang
around as Darren Hardy said if you hang
around five wise people you will become
the sixth if you hang around five
multi-millionaires you will become the
sixth and if you hang around five idiots
you will become the sixth so be so
selective with who you hang around it
greatly impacts you your life you can be
selective you need to be it is so
crucial and important to to curate your
life and your future and to make it how
you want it to be you can even make a
list of things that are important to you
how you want to show up what what kind
of attributes do you like in others and
do you want to see in yourself and
surround yourself with those kinds of
people
so that is my episode for you today it
has been on my mind as I have seen my
dear friends in my Mastermind as I have
felt it myself in my own life recently
just the hugely important detail of the
people we surround ourselves with now I
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brand new guest until then have a
wonderful week take care
[Music]
