Why It Matters Who You Surround Yourself WIth

[Music]

welcome to the craft to Career podcast

with Elizabeth Chappell or every week we

dive into how you can turn your craft

into a successful career get ready to

have the career you’ve always dreamed of

[Music]

hello welcome to episode 96 of the craft

a career podcast I am Elizabeth Chapel

of Quilter’s candy and I am the host of

the show and today I’m talking about

something that’s been on my radar

recently and has really come to the

Forefront that I’ve seen in my life and

the lives of those around me and I

cannot wait to tell you more and to

share something that can really change

your life both your business and your

personal life this topic is who we

surround ourselves with

have you ever stepped back to look at

who you spend time with like a lot of

time it could be your friends family it

could even be you know the podcast that

you listen to the books that you’re

reading

that counts too

but doing an evaluation of who we are

surrounding ourselves with and just how

big of a role this plays and Who We Are

it’s actually crazy like it makes me

want to just go and find

I don’t know the most amazing people in

the world and be like can we just hang

out every day because I this is super

powerful

so let’s dive in and first I’m gonna

share what Darren Hardy said so Darren

Hardy’s the author of The Compound

Effect

and I follow him on Instagram he’s a

very successful business owner and he

shares a lot of great information so

there’s a reel that he had and I’ll

leave a link to this in the show notes

so if you want to see the actual reel

from Darren Hardy’s own mouth you can go

to quilterscandy.com forward slash 96

and you can get the link to that

so Darren says

if you hang around five wise people you

will become the sixth if you hang around

five multi-millionaires you will become

the sixth

if you hang around five idiots you will

become the sixth he says we evolve to

become the things that we see hear and

do on a consistent basis do you want to

see your future he asks look at your

friends

so wow like do you want your future to

be

like what your friends have what their

lives are their attitudes their

everything is that what you want for

your future

if you can say yes then perfect that’s

great

stay where you are

if not

and that it’s so hard it’s easier said

than done right like no I’ll just get

new friends but really who we surround

ourselves with really makes a difference

like it makes all the difference it is

it’s our future

and I have seen this this year so as you

know if you’ve listened to uh the past

couple episodes ago I had Stacy tushel

on and I am in her Mastermind this year

and we’re gonna just talk in regards to

business right now but as far as my

business goes I have consistently taken

a class had a mentor joined a mastermind

put myself in a surrounding with people

who are a couple steps ahead of me

because that’s the future I wanted for

my business I wanted to reach this

potential and the first time this

happened

I took a course and I realized holy cow

this person is making that much money

and it just opened my mind to this

business idea that wow there’s actually

a lot more out there I had set the bar

really low and I was okay with that and

it that’s okay if you’re like no I’m

okay with earning x amount per year I

don’t have Ambitions for more than that

that’s totally fine but for me I was

like wait a minute there’s more that I

could be earning

in fact there is no cap you know the

first time I vocalized out loud I want

to earn a million dollars a year with my

business

I didn’t dare he let anyone else hear it

like even just vocalizing it even just

thinking it I was like who am I how dare

I how could I but then to own that

and now it’s it it will happen and and

then what you know then there’s more

after that after that

um and so being surrounded by people who

are getting that kind of success where

that’s very normal it’s not like no

that’s crazy you can’t do that it’s like

oh yeah no you can and here here’s how

it changes everything just to open your

mind to the idea to accepting and

believing that that’s a reality

and not just someone else’s but that is

mine that will be my future

um it’s very very beyond powerful like

it changes your entire the way you look

at things

and even before I joined my Mastermind I

hopped on a one-on-one coaching call

and just to chat with this coach to tell

them uh here’s where I’m at here’s where

I want to get and have them throw out

some ideas what if you tried this what

if you did this

it I was like oh wow okay and then for

them to say just do it and so I did I

opened up these things and did that and

that and it worked and it pushed me to

where I would not have done that had

someone not been there to a suggest it

and then B pushed me and encourage me to

do that thing

so being around the people who are

having the kind of success that you want

to have or even who are a couple steps

ahead of you

is huge really even just to to get you

in the mind frame of what’s possible

that you really can have more and then

the tangible but how how do I get there

sure you can like you know manifest and

believe all you want but you need to

know some tangible things of like but

how does one do that and so to have

someone who can guide you and help you

with that

also I have noticed the importance of I

how do I say this

an outside set of eyes looking at my

business so I’ve shared this story

before and I don’t even remember now if

it was on the podcast or where so if

you’ve heard this just uh stick with me

but I you know I coach people and I

teach people on how to run a successful

business and one of the things that I

really encourage people to do

is to not focus on yourself when you are

marketing so and when your Market you’re

marketing all the time so let’s say that

you have an about me page on your

website which I hope you do

in the about me page it should be in

first person and you should tell a

little bit of your origin story how you

got to have this business however here’s

the fine line

when you are marketing when you’re

talking to your customers

you only want to share that in regards

to how it affects them

a lot of business owners get into this

trap if you will this idea of

oh let me share my story and it goes on

and on and on and honestly we as human

beings were very selfish beings we

really don’t want to hear about a

business owner’s origin story unless it

somehow has some sort of implication in

my life that affects me for the better

so on your about me page you can say for

me for example I could say something

like when I first started quilting it

was a little bit lonely I realized I

wanted companionship but I I was in my

quilting room alone at night sewing so I

realized I could start a membership and

I’d worded it differently than this I

wanted to have a community of friends to

join in projects with and to share what

we’re doing together

that’s why I created the Quilters candy

membership come and join me in the

membership be my friend let’s hang out

together so all of a sudden yes I’m

sharing my origin story of why I started

this thing but ever so briefly one or

two sentences and I’m framing it in a

way that’s like

but I did this because of this common

problem that you can relate to as well

and I’ve solved that problem for you so

here’s the product and this is the

problem that I’m solving so really that

that’s so keep that in mind when I’m

sharing this story

so I hired a copywriter I had a welcome

sequence email and I I went through this

whole formula that they share of share

this in the first email this and the

second this is the third and then the

fourth this is when you sell your thing

and I could see the open and the click

rates it was going very very well until

that fourth email when I was selling

something and I know enough to know that

that shouldn’t be happening if you’re

doing it right if you’re formulating

your email and wording it in the right

way it should be selling but no it was

the unsubscribe rate went up high people

weren’t buying

no that’s not how it’s that’s not how

it’s supposed to be so I hired a

copywriter and I had her come in and

take a look at my email sequence and in

that email where I was selling

it was about my origin story

and she was like oh okay well here’s

your problem it’s all about you it

doesn’t have anything to do with your

customer

do you know how

stupid I felt I was like what the this

is what I teach people on but unless

you’re lest you listen and you’re like

oh great Elizabeth doesn’t know what

she’s talking about the moral of this

story is we are so blind to our own

business we’re so up close to it that we

can’t see the details so this as much as

I can look at someone else’s business

and it’s very clear to me oh we need to

fix this right here when it comes to my

own business I need another set of eyes

someone who’s not so up close I need

them to be able to look at it and and

point out things that I’m blind to and

this is not I’m not alone every Mentor

that I have has a mentor they they hire

someone they have a friend that they

reach out to before a launch hey can you

look over this copy how is this because

no matter how good of a business owner

you are

we are just we’re too in the details

we’re too up close it’s too personal we

cannot see I mean to a degree but there

are things that we just are blind to

because it’s our baby it’s our own thing

and so this is another reason why it

matters who we surround ourselves with

and a note of caution here

everyone loves to give advice I see this

with group coaching calls someone will

share I have this new idea and all of a

sudden people start pitching and oh you

should do this you should do this they

weren’t even looking for suggestions but

everyone loves to give their suggestions

so that’s even without asking people are

giving advice if you go to somebody and

say hey can you give me your feedback on

this they’ll give you their feedback

but be selective whose feedback you are

asking for and whose feedback you take

because I’ve definitely heard some

people dish out some bad business advice

I’m like oh oh don’t do that or even

someone who is in a position where

they actually did a lot of really great

things but one of the things they said

it just happened yesterday I was on a

group coaching call not with Stacy’s

mess around but a different program that

I’m in because I’m in all the things

um

but one of the coaches gave some advice

about a niche being too narrow and I was

like oh no no no no no it was actually

someone who um is teaching music lessons

to autistic kids and he was like I think

that’s too Niche and I it was not my

place to be like you’re wrong but but in

my mind and here on my podcast

um

I just couldn’t disagree more so be so

careful Whose advice you take and if

something doesn’t resonate with you seek

a second opinion from someone who you

trust someone who’s A good rule of thumb

as someone who is a few steps ahead of

you who actually has the success that

you want to have because they’ve walked

the walk they have done the things that

you need to do in order to have that

kind of success so they will have

experience under their belt if it’s you

know the blind leading the blind if it’s

someone who has not gotten there and

there it’s just ideas or oh I read a

book that tells me this or I heard

someone say don’t don’t do that

follow someone who actually is there is

in a place where you want to be because

like I said people love to give advice

but you want to take advice from

qualified individuals

so that’s what you know with our

business it’s so crucial to surround

yourself with with people who are going

to lift you up and cheer you on and

support you and guide you and help you

see what’s possible for you

and also emotionally

so not only am I a part of Mastermind a

mastermind I host my own Mastermind

which has been such a fun thing to do

like I knew that this group of people

would be my people this year and it’s

only February and I we are we’re these

are like my friends and

in the last couple of weeks each one of

us has gone through a pretty hard time

um either with business or emotionally

you know which affects our business

and what has been really interesting for

me to see is that each one of us feels

like what we’re going through is very

unique

and that our struggles it can feel very

isolating when you’re going through a

hard time it is hard right it’s just and

if you don’t have a support system

it’s even harder but for us to come

together and to realize

Wow first of all I’m not the only person

having a hard time this is not unique to

me this is a very normal process of

being an entrepreneur not that that’s

like encouraging by saying it’s going to

be hard to be an entrepreneur but when

you’re in it

you don’t want to do that alone you know

like it is there are going to be ups and

downs the roller coaster of the

entrepreneur that’s a real thing you’ll

feel on cloud nine one minute and down

in the dumps the next and it’s sometimes

like I don’t know that I can handle this

anymore but to have a group that you can

go to and share this is what’s happening

this is how I’m feeling and to have them

truly be in your corner

I actually feel myself getting a little

emotional right now but um to have them

truly be in your corner and to have

people who sincerely want the best for

you and see the best in you and have

your have your back

it I mean you can hear in my voice it

means the world

it just means the world I mean we all

will have

you know an unhappy customer stresses of

of finances or growth or

people who don’t love your business

model but to have people in your corner

who can who you respect who you truly

love and they love you back it’s it is

invaluable it really is invaluable and

I’ve seen that not just for myself but

for the others that I’ve been around

um wow all right we’ll pull it together

so yes the bonding and the support that

we get from being with people who who

who we want you know that whole thing

that Darren Hardy said like you can see

your future if you look at your friends

is that the kind of future you want

um I also invite you to really

look at how the people you’re around

how they handle

frustrations and let me see if I can

dive into this a little bit more

you want to be in a good headspace okay

this is I’m speaking now I’m saying you

you know you listener you get to decide

what’s important to you

for me things that are important to me

are being positive

looking at the best in others not

talking negatively about others having

Integrity being a hard worker

uh let’s see those are pretty big so

yeah being able to to turn things and

not be negative about it to not you know

I just I don’t want to dwell on the

negative I really want to move forward

and be happy

and so for me I’m not going to say that

that’s right or wrong but if that’s

what’s important to you then you want to

make sure you’re around people who who

do those things it’s so easy I remember

my sister-in-law years ago she was

really upset about something and she was

like man I need this friend of mine

around she’s so good at just like yeah

they’re terrible they’re this and she’s

like it’s hilarious and it it is you I

get it like when we’re really upset with

someone we’ll just say someone for right

now

it’s kind of fun like the basic juvenile

side of us wants someone else to be like

yeah to agree with us and tear that

person down and they’re such an idiot or

whatever

that’s not really who I want to be

that’s not how I want to show up in this

life so while it might in the most

knee-jerk reaction how I want to like oh

come on just throw them under the bus

with me you know that’s not really what

I want in life I really really when I’m

in my best self I want people who can

help me turn things around and be more

positive

so Shannon doesn’t know this but she

works for well okay she does know this

she works for me she knows that

she doesn’t know that I’m going to share

how amazing she has been for me in this

regard

um just the other day

she I was chatting with her about you

know being in a weird headspace and

and she was handled it so well

she did not encourage the Doom and Gloom

and the let’s just talk about how bad it

is but in such a loving kind way just

like

encouraging listening listening but not

diving into the details and tell me more

tell me more and and I don’t even

remember how but just encouraging me to

be a little bit better and move forward

and I even

texted her or whatever a message that

said like I don’t have time to be down

here I have mountains to climb and she

copied that and she was like that is

beautiful

and now I I want to save that and put it

on my door or whatever tattoo it on my

arm like I have mountains to climb

that’s the kind of person I want to be

around that helps me remember I have

great dreams and visions and goals I’m

going places I don’t have time to sit

here and spend my energy on this stuff

that is bringing me down you know

and so if you can find those people who

are in a a mentally healthy happy place

then that will help you to to not dwell

in those negative places you know to

really Elevate yourself when it’s not so

easy to do

so now if you’re like well yeah I really

do I need to to reevaluate who I’m with

and and who I’m going to hang out with

I mean just

a precautionary tale or warning it’s it

does hurt a little bit I have gone

through a few times in my life changing

my friend groups evaluating wow this is

not making me happy these people are and

I didn’t at that time I didn’t have the

self-awareness to be like this is not

who I want to be but I was like uh I

don’t feel happy this makes me feel

whenever I leave

from being with these people I feel a

certain way and I don’t like that

so just be warned that it’s

it is always worth it to to change and

elevate your life whatever that might

look like but if you are specifically

changing the people who you hang out

with

it can be a little bit of a bumpy road

and there’s no need to tell people oh

you’re not who I want to be like or you

know anything like that but it does

become obvious when you change your

group a little bit

um but it is for the best and in the

long run you will be happier for making

that change and you know finding people

then the next thing for me was like I’m

lonely for a little bit I didn’t have a

friend group because I chose to not hang

out with these people who had been my

friends so now what and they’re it’s

like dating a little bit you know you’re

looking for some new friends and trying

things out you will find your people and

the biggest thing is to be proactive go

ahead and invite somebody to do

something if there’s someone who you’re

like man I really admire them they just

they’re really great go ahead and just

say hey would you want to grab lunch

sometime you know put yourself out there

and and reach out to people and for me

this makes me sound so weird if my

myself 10 years ago I heard myself

saying this I’d be like oh boy but a lot

of my

close friends and associations are

through my business Quilters candy you

know whether it’s online or the

employees on my team or the people in my

Mastermind or you know just the people

who I’ve met through my business are a

big

my closest relations mine is my family

um so putting yourself out there whether

it be online or through your business

making connections with your customers

it can be very very fulfilling

so yeah to summarize who we surround

ourselves greatly impact who we are how

we show up how we view the world

it is validating sometimes to see just

how real this is so I have seen with my

community for example the people who uh

you know take my course sign up for my

membership

join my Mastermind that I it is true

like attracts like and so the people who

I’ve attracted into my my sphere my

atmosphere if you will are people who I

generally really like you know I’m like

oh they have I really like how they

handle this oh they’re very positive oh

we you know

so like attracts like and

you want to surround yourself with the

people you want to be with but you’re

also going to attract the kind of people

that you are and so if you evaluate who

who am I attracting and who am I around

you can change that if you’re not loving

what you’re seeing

there is so much power in who we are

around and like I said it can even be a

podcast that you listen to books that

you listen to I want to say the first

time I heard this idea was on a podcast

oh something I cannot remember his name

something about millionaires uh being a

millionaire and he has a book John oh

anyhow I feel really bad I can’t

remember but he said you are the sum of

the five people you hang out with most

and I’m paraphrasing but to really

evaluate look at who are the five people

that you are around most what are their

views on life how do they talk about

people when they aren’t around how are

they generally happy are they generally

pessimistic do they look at things as a

glass half full are they showing up in a

way that you like that you want to show

up

because that’s how you are as well we

are the sum of the five people we hang

around as Darren Hardy said if you hang

around five wise people you will become

the sixth if you hang around five

multi-millionaires you will become the

sixth and if you hang around five idiots

you will become the sixth so be so

selective with who you hang around it

greatly impacts you your life you can be

selective you need to be it is so

crucial and important to to curate your

life and your future and to make it how

you want it to be you can even make a

list of things that are important to you

how you want to show up what what kind

of attributes do you like in others and

do you want to see in yourself and

surround yourself with those kinds of

people

so that is my episode for you today it

has been on my mind as I have seen my

dear friends in my Mastermind as I have

felt it myself in my own life recently

just the hugely important detail of the

people we surround ourselves with now I

do not have any paid ads on my podcast

but I do really lean on the reviews of

the podcast to help my podcast stick

around to help get good guests on the

podcast

so if you have not left a review for the

podcast would you please take a minute

and leave a review for The Crafty career

podcast it can be on whatever platform

you listen

and if you found this podcast by

somebody suggesting or sharing it with

you if you could pay that forward and

share this podcast with a friend who is

a creative entrepreneur and who could

use this in their life and in their

business that would mean the world to

the podcast and to me thank you so much

for being here for being a part of the

craft to Career podcast community

and I will see you right here next

Friday with a brand new podcast and a

brand new guest until then have a

wonderful week take care

[Music]